Graduation
Sunday night, while I was reheating some spaghetti in the microwave, Vanesa was at the computer looking over possible class options for the upcoming semester. She was trying to decide what classes to take given the possibility of us moving to the U.S. before she graduates. She was obviously confused and unsure of how she was going to proceed.
I had been thinking about her studies for the last few weeks and it had really been on my mind the last few days, even before she returned from her trip. So, I decided to bring it up almost immediately when we were together at her apartment last night. I asked her about the importance of her graduation from the University of Buenos Aires–whether it was a big deal or just something she felt obligated to do. Without explaining why, she told me it was very important to her and she really wanted to finish her degree here. Without any hesitation, I told her that since it was that important to her, I would be willing to live in Buenos Aires at least until she completes her program in 2 years. You should have seen the look of contentedness on her face! She too had been mulling over the ramifications of our relationship on her education and had been nervous about broaching the subject. That I willingly offered, without being asked or the subject even being hinted at, meant the world to her.
She subsequently related why graduating was so important to her. After high school, she did not have any money to attend the University. To give you an idea what I mean by no money and the difference in our economies, you have to understand that the University of Buenos Aires is state-run and free for all Argentines. Vanesa worked and saved money for 3 or 4 years just to pay for books, supplies, and course materials. When she was 20 and work was harder to come by here in BA, she and her sister lived with a Korean woman for a year and worked in her clothing store. They didn’t earn much, but it was work. Upon entering the University, she worked diligently even when it was difficult. While other students were able to use computers and create elaborate projects more quickly, she had to do everything by hand. But she did so with a grateful attitude and received outstanding marks. I did not know any of this when I informed her of my willingness to stay here and felt reassured after hearing her story. For her to quit so close to finishing would be a shame.
The peace with which I came to this conclusion really startled me. My heart beat didn’t change nor did I feel a knot in my stomach as we talked about the future. At first, when I was hashing over the idea by myself, a big part of me felt like living here longer would be an excuse to put off returning to “real life” as it were. But what is real life any way? Having a 40 hour/week job, a mortgage, etc? No, those are superfluous matters and often an escape from the more important aspects of our existence. Part of real life is always seeking the best interest of one’s spouse before one’s own. It’s following God’s leading and asking him to teach us, regardless of geography. Who knows what lies ahead for us here in BA? (I can only imagine how well I’ll be able to speak Spanish!). Whatever it might be, God will take care of us. I had told Vanesa I would live with her wherever, and I meant it. She and my family will be first priority.
Trust is a two way street and the only way I can explain why I had been thinking about her education so much is to say God put it on my mind. The trust we are building with each other is incredible. Vanesa has cried on more than one occasion because she can’t believe God saved me for her or how well I treat her. Her only other boyfriend was mostly heartache and fighting and this relationship has been the complete opposite. It is straight out of her dreams. Last night as she was showing me souvenirs from her Bolivia trip, she pulled out a pair of thermal socks. She will most likely not need them in Buenos Aires, but bought them because she had been thinking about living in Minnesota.
