Kyle Berg

When my wife Meredee was on vacation in October, it was like she was a different person. She was relaxed, happier, and didn’t mind spending some time on her own. However, when working, she’s not completely herself and goes to bed every night asking me if she has to go to work in the morning. My response is always the same, “I’m working on getting you out of there.” Part of my motivation for creating a successful business is so that she does not have to work, or at the very least, would have the option to work or not. Nothing would make me happier than to give her this.

Though Meredee is self-sufficient, she’s at her best and happiest when she’s taking care of her husband and the house and not thinking about work. In the same way, I’m happiest when I’m working, supporting her, and not taking caring of the house. If I never had to do the dishes or cook again, I would be the happiest man in the world! And if Meredee never had to work again, she would be ecstatic. It has nothing to do with either one of us being lazy or irresponsible and everything to do with us complementing each other. As we found out during our eHarmony communication, we both embrace traditional gender roles.

My wife is not alone in her desire to be a wife and be taken care of. Contrary to what pop culture tells us about women being independent, most are wired to support their husbands. Likewise, men are wired to provide for their wives and lead the relationship. Somewhere we’ve gone wrong and confused a lot of people. We now have millions of lonely women chasing careers and postponing marriage when they’re yearning to be wives and mothers. Conversely, most men now know what a duvet cover is and have lost much of their masculinity to suburban life.

Politically correct or not, men and women need each other. I’m incomplete without my wife and she’s incomplete without me. My hope is that we appreciate this more throughout our marriage and work to help each other fulfill our respective roles. To start, I’ll continue to work hard toward keeping her at home.

Apparently there was a weakness in my blog theme and someone was able to hack their way in. It doesn’t look like there was any damage done, but everything was being redirected to various ad sites. I’ve changed the theme for right now and everything appears to be okay. Who are these people?

I’m down in Brookings, OR for a few days to do some insurance work with Colonial. This is my first time on the southern coast and I was blown away by its beauty. I’ve been to the central coast several times and that is beautiful in its own right. But this area is even nicer! Today was a postcard-perfect day and I had the privilege of driving along the ocean at sunset. The area between Bandon and Brookings featured the giant rocks and bluffs I had imagined when others described the rugged coastal beauty of Oregon. I could’ve admired the views all night and would’ve been tempted to continue on to California had I not been impeded by the darkness and the need to be in Brookings tomorrow morning. Sorry I don’t have any pictures as I was under time constraints. I will be back with a camera in hand!

Days like today add to my divided opinion of my home area. On one hand, I miss the Midwestern people, their values, and the work ethic. It’s nice to live in a place where you don’t have to lock your doors. On the other hand, it’s flat, freezing cold, and winter lasts waaaaaay too long. Conversely, Oregon’s people are very different than what I’m used to and much of the culture is strongly at odds with my beliefs. However, I love how we can see the ocean or the mountains by driving 2 hours or less! Why can’t the people and the landscape go hand in hand?!

I have to admit, I like looking through all those ads in the Thanksgiving Day newspaper as much as anyone. (Although I hated delivering that thing as a paperboy! Extra work and weight and no additional pay.) After all, who wouldn’t get excited about standing in line at Kohl’s at 2 a.m. so you can save 80% on all Unionbay juniors’ cardigans? But fiscal savings aside, why do we go crazy with our holiday shopping? Do we really need more stuff that badly? I love a good bargain, but it’s not worth giving up (mentally speaking) one of our most cherished holidays for it.

Yesterday at church, Pr. Gary railed on Black Friday and what it’s done to our attitude toward Thanksgiving, and I’d definitely have to agree with his analysis. He really got into it and probably surprised some people when he told us to “rage against the machine” and tell the spirit of consumption “Up yours!” by not participating in Black Friday shopping. It’s ironic that, if we’re not careful, Thanksgiving can turn into a day of planning how to get more rather than a day of reflecting upon the incomprehensible amount of wealth, opportunity, freedom, and other gifts we’ve received.

I am just as vulnerable as anyone else in this country to materialism and some of the lessons of gratitude I learned while living in South American can seem like distant memories. I want to live full of thanksgiving and have a proper perspective on what I’ve been given. I struggle with this and it often seems like I’m destined to go through life always wanting more. It appears that contentment will be a lifelong battle and pursuit. For now, I’ll start with Thanksgiving. I’ll thank God for all his provision and for placing me in this location at this time in history. And to help the process, I’ll tell the media and those in the highest places of power to shut it when they start blathering on about how bad things are. If we would all give thanks, I have a feeling everyone would be better off, and not just on Black Friday.

Meredee and I have been taking part in the Alpha Course at Eugene Christian Fellowship for the last couple months. The course is a “Christianity 101″ if you will and covers the basic tenants of faith. Although I grew up in church, I thought it would be a good review and a way to meet other people at the church. It was a little slow going for a while, but we’ve really come to appreciate the environment the course facilitates. There is an easy to follow, enjoyable presentation of deep ideas that could otherwise be confusing to many. Additionally, the Alpha environment is accepting and welcoming to everyone’s questions, doubts, beliefs, and inquiries.

Last night we had the best discussion of the course as we talked about healing and our faith. I won’t go into specifics because of the personal nature of our discussion, but it really brought our Table 5 group together. We talked about the healing God had done in our lives and how negative experiences could be used for good in the long run. We also prayed for each other and our group gathered around Meredee and prayed for healing of the pain in her leg that has bothered her for 10 years. There were a lot of good tears last night and I had a wonderful glimpse of what God may want the Church to be like. The unpretentious, genuine nature of ECF and it’s people initially drew me there and this attitude was displayed again last night in a beautiful way.

We only have 1 week left of Alpha and then the discussions and amazing dinners will be over. (They feed us a full meal every week!) To extend it though, we’re having a group Christmas party at our house for one last get-together. It’s hard to develop close relationships in a large church and I hope we’re able to maintain these friendships and get to know others as well.