Kyle Berg

Today was our second chance to get into the studio and practice lighting techniques. Last time we only used one light to make different looks and shadows. This time we were working on using 2 and 3 light combinations, with one key light, a fill light, and finally a hair light. I thought that today would be a lot of joking around since Arno and Bruce were in my group, but we ended up being more methodical and really thinking through the process. We still had a good time, but it took us all 3 hours to learn from our mistakes, figure out the lighting, and complete the assignment. First I shot Arno using the Split Hatchet from the key light to split the light down the middle of his face. At first we used a 1:2 ratio, so there wasn’t much difference between the two sides. The 1:4 ratio showed more variation in the shadows, but was still much more subtle than our exercises from the previous session. For the third part of the assignment, we had to use a key light, a back light, and a hair light. I struggled through the setup for quite a while, but Allison (the teacher) helped me fix my mistakes. I used the Loop method to cast a shadow on Bruce’s cheek and under his nose while also backlighting his silver mane with a hair light and illuminating the background with a light and a purple gel. He didn’t think purple would be a good color, but I was in charge and convinced him it would go well with his color of hair. All in all, the shots turned out pretty well, even thought we didn’t have time to get really creative. When I pulled the pictures up in full size on my computer, I couldn’t believe the detail in the photos. These digital cameras are getting really good!

I was about to go to bed early when I checked my messages. Carlie had called earlier, so I called back and she invited me to join her and her friend at the Top Hat. The offer of dancing and music doesn’t really ever tempt me, but I figured I’d give it a go. Charlie Parr was entertaining the small crowd with his blues/rock mix of music. He played a unique guitar that looked like it was made of metal, while simultaneously playing a drum with his foot. With his overalls and weathered boots, he looked like he could have been just as comfortable playing on a porch in Tennessee. Regardless, he sure knew how to rock and had a little Eric Clapton style going at times. Carlie convinced me to dance a few songs, and although I had little idea what I was doing, it was a lot of fun. She even taught me this cool move where she jumped and I caught her, then twirled her part way around my back and then back to the front. People who have a lot of patience and don’t care that you’re a bad dancer make these times much more fun. The rest of the time I sat down talking with Carlie, her friend Shawna, and some others from RMSP. (As usual, when standing and holding conversations at loud events, I was hunched over like Quasimodo in order to hear the other person).

With all the beautiful scenery around here, it’s a shame there’s not more time (and energy) to get out and shoot. You really have to make an effort to do so given how busy we are with class and then trying to arrange cooking, errands, etc. around that. But last night I left around 7:15 or so and drove north of Missoula. It doesn’t take long to find beautiful scenery and I find myself wishing that I could make the sunset last longer. The summer days are so long here that even at 7:30 or 8 the light is still very harsh for taking pictures. 8:30-9:30 seems to be the most favorable window of time. I didn’t really have a destination last night, but just drove and pulled over at a couple places and looked for anything that caught my eye. I made a point to first stop to shoot an old shack with mountains in the background. This proved to be more difficult than I had hoped because it was on private land. The shot turned out okay since I used all of the zoom I had, but it would have been nice to walk up close and try to frame something rather than setting up my tripod in the ditch of Highway 93 and hoping not to get killed. Next I pulled down a gravel road and tried to take some farm pictures of hay bales with hills and mountains behind. Again, with private land it was tough. Finally, I found another gravel road and tried to sneak in a few sunset shots. The pictures were alright, but more than anything, it was nice to be out by myself on a beautiful summer night in Montana. The long day, quiet, and beautiful weather were absolutely ideal.

One of the beautiful things about RMSP is that they pump your brain so full of photography for 11 weeks, that, if you apply yourself, you can’t help but learn and grow. It’s all you think about. And when you’re not thinking about taking pictures, you’re thinking about what gear to buy. And when you’re not thinking about that, you’re thinking about sleep. So while my mind had been rather fertile with philosophical questions prior to arriving here, lately I can’t say it’s been producing a lot of deep thoughts. Maybe it has, but I’ve been too focused to notice. Anyway, even though I was really tired and thinking about going to bed around 9 p.m., I stayed up and went through some pictures and uploaded them to our trial website. A few hours of that woke me up and now, at 1:52 a.m., I can’t sleep. So why not contemplate a centuries old Christian dilemma such as predestination? It had been in my mind before starting RMSP and who knows when I’ll have time to think about it again? As with many of my deep questions, I don’t have a final answer, but I will try to take something away from the exercise of thinking through it.

I grew up in a non-denominational, pentecostal church background where free will and personal responsibility were emphasized. We held to an Arminian theology where we could either accept or resist God’s grace and gift of salvation. Also, we believed that inherent in a resistible grace was the possibility of losing one’s salvation. I always had a difficult time understanding the opposing Calvinist mindset that held that God elected only some to be saved and that his grace was irresistible. I thought this view was unjust, exclusionary, and a bit arrogant. Now however, I cannot help but think about the matter more deeply as I’ve been listening to the podcasts of both Matt Chandler and Mark Driscoll, two staunch Calvinist preachers. They preach sin, salvation, and the Gospel with a fervor and conviction that belies much of what I thought a Calvinist would say, do, or believe. I am thoroughly impressed with their complete dependence on God for the transformations taking place in their congregations. While I still hold to an Arminian view, I also see how much control we evangelicals maintain over our faith as we try to explain God and shape him into our mindset. We place a lot of emphasis on our control over our destiny. God is bigger and more inexplicable than we can imagine and we often ignore that.

So without going into the two doctrines further, for that’s not my preoccupation, here are some thoughts. These are not necessarily beliefs, but provocative questions that cause me to think about how I view God.

If God does only elect a few, so what? Really, so what? What are we going to do about it? Just because we think it’s unfair, does that mean he stops being God? Does that enable us to change the rules of eternal judgment? Of course not. The fact that he sent his Son to save some is more than he ever had to do. He rightfully could have damned us all. Who are we, sinful people, to point fingers at him and tell him how unfair he is when he can do whatever he wants and yet still chose to give us salvation? It’s a miracle anyone is saved given our depravity.

What if God sent tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, and famine on the earth? Does that make him less God? Does that allow us to not believe in him because we think he’s mean?

What if God targeted people for disease? Would that make him less powerful or less worthy of worship?

I believe we are inundated in a culture that has to “feel good” about God and we don’t even realize it. It has affected how we proclaim Jesus and salvation. We force ourselves to explain and defend an infinite, omnipotent being in an effort to appeal to the culture. We accept the premise that we must defend the “fairness” of God when God is who he is, like it or not, period. No discussion. God is God and can do whatever he wants. As Job 13:15 says, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” Or as one of my professors put it, “The point of Job is not that Job got his stuff back, but rather that God is God and he can squash you like a bug.” We cannot let people fall prey to the thinking that says “If I don’t like it, think it’s fair, or believe it, it doesn’t exist.” Our beliefs or lack thereof do not change the fact that God created the Universe, upholds everything, and has control of our lives. The only way around this is to deny God and turn to another religion or atheism. There is no “I accept God, but…”

Maybe I should get more wrapped up and into these theological discussions, but I don’t. To me they are peripheral matters upon which we can agree to disagree and still be okay. My main concern is that I believe God is God no matter what he does and no matter what I think of him. We need to return to preaching that the Bible is about God and is not an “answer manual” to life. Rather, God is the star of the show and the Bible teaches us how to conform to him, and thus to reality.

This morning I went to church for the first time since my first Sunday here. The previous Sundays I had gone somewhere with others to take  pictures. I must say that not only do I have a fun group, but it is also made up of some excellent people. And among those people are some Christians. Jan was a dead giveaway because she mentioned that she had worked at a Christian bookstore. With Elisha, I could just tell based on her conversation and demeanor. Another girl named Xanti ended up joining us as well. I met them at a Missionary Alliance church that Jan had visited once before. We entered the building and found ourselves among a zoo of parents and kids there for the free pancake and fruit breakfast. After sitting and chatting a while, we went into the sanctuary and realized that we had poor timing and were visiting during a special children’s service. The music, play, message, and everything was catered to the kids and showing their parents what they had learned during their week of Vacation Bible School. This was all well and good, but not exactly what we were craving during a summer that will only allow intermittent church attendance. The service lasted just over an hour and then I headed to Wal-Mart (again) before going home for the afternoon.

At 6 we had a review session with Neil. Even though it was only supposed to cover the basics of exposure, both Thomas and I decided we didn’t want to miss anything Neil had to say. It ended up being a great couple hours that allowed us to sneak in some advanced learning. The first 30-45 minutes were review, but after that he got into the Zone System and explaining how he metered exposure. Neil’s amazing when it comes to performing these steps mentally and it’s fun not only to hear him explain ideas, but to hear how he thinks through the process. He brought some photos from his trip to Russia and explained how he metered the light in each scene. These review sessions are optional, but there’s no way Thomas and I are missing any of them with Neil.

After the review, I went with Thomas, Mia, and Kirsty up north to Nine Pipes for some sunset pictures. We didn’t get going until after 9 and arrived shortly before 10. We missed the good light by about 20 minutes, but it was still nice to jump in the car and go see a new place with other people. I ended up getting one nice shot of a light trail left by passing cars and a semi. This worked well as one of my required shots for class the next day.

On the way back home I stayed quiet most of the trip. We were listening to some urban, thug, whatever-you-want-to-call-it music from a San Francisco artist. I can’t remember the guy’s name, but he was one angry, bitter dude. He was obviously anti-American and anti-military. In those situations I can’t have a normal conversation and pretend that I’m not hearing what’s being said. So, I didn’t say anything, mainly because I don’t know any of them well enough to do so without sounding preachy. But man did that music rub me the wrong way. It almost made me want to go back to Wal-Mart and talk to the people who love this country.